that moment of life.

have anyone here ever experienced that second of life where you thought that you were gonna leave this world all of a sudden? i have, twice that i could remember of.

the first was when i was seven at sunway lagoon. the second, just happened to me a few days back. my first and most fatal car crash.

it was a really sunny saturday afternoon, when i was on my way home from collecting some stuffs from pavilion while taking the corner at jalan semantan at about 60km/ph and all i could recall was that i heard this really loud speeding sound next to me, i saw a motorcyclist speeding next to me sweeping me on the left and then trying to avoid the bike, i went into the red slippery zone then lost control of my car and crashed up the curb.

seriously, at that point of time it was like in the movies where all that in my mind was him and that i dint wanna die so early. thankfully, i did not hurt/kill anyone or myself in the crash. its just that i have phobia in driving especially at the red zone areas and motorcyclist and mental injuries.

but then again, it seemed to have all been fated. if only the girl's flight did not delay the week before and i collected the things earlier, if only mummy had followed me down to kl, if only….but it happened. it was meant to happen. and all i can say now is thank god i'm fine with no injuries at all.

worse part was that daddy wasn't in town and i was traumatized not knowing what to do coz i can't turn my steering wheel nor move my car at all. ><" heck it was the most horrible feeling ever!

and oh the result of it? brake disc broke into half, broken drive shaft and urm horribly scratched car. which costed me a bomb. urgh at least not my life!

what's a relationship.

today a long time no contact friend dm me on facebook. we chatted. until it came the the topics on relationships. he said it was hard for him to find miss right. and we started quite a long chat on it. i told him its not easy to find that person coz it all depends on fate.

he then asked "fate?" and said that he hated this fate shit. but fate comes naturally. we cant just force ourselves to find that person coz he/she will just appear when its time to appear. u dont have to find but not just stay home and wait. its the people around you that really matters. he/she may just be ur mr/ms right. give everyone around u a chance.

no one is perfect in a relationship. or more of no one is perfect in anything. and everyone has got a chance to find their love. :)

in my relationship, i gave him a chance to take care of me. we only knew each other for a month n now we're together for 5 months. slowly we understood each other. day by day. we get pissed at each other's stupid temper sometimes but we give in. apologize even if we're not wrong. its putting down the ego bcoz slowly u love the person more each day.

to me this is love.
love is not about the romance, its not about the money or pretty people or perfection.
its about how u learn to feel and put down ur ego for that person.

♥

freelance its different.

it has been a month and a half since i joined zouk as business development exec. it may seem and sound glamorous working at kl's hottest night spot. but then again it's not what u think. i may sound like i'm whining but i'm not.

going into full-time is way different if compared to my freelance years when i was still a student back then and 6 months after graduation. i had very flexible time, i earn way much more and i could eat spend and do anything i want at any time of the day like no one's business.

freelance was really fun. i'd miss those days when i had different pretty uniforms to wear and i had OT pay if i had to work extra hours or even extra half an hour.

but full-time i have to work for long hours and not get paid extra, yet i cant complain coz i enjoy the work tho i may b really really tired at the end of the night. but it does give me a satisfaction when the event is over. but this is a stepping stone. its a new level of life. its like building my future career.

some of u guys may not understand what i'm going through coz u're not doing it. but freelance isn't for a lifetime. think again, how long more can you be in those pretty uniforms standing there and posing if u're not a caucasian model on the stage.

i've left the industry tho i may still be there to be in photo shoots as how i still enjoy doing it. but i will no longer stand in events as a showgirl anymore.

time moves forward, life continues going on. think about future.  ♥

hectic.

life been very tiring. can i complain? not really. it was my choice and its still my choice. i guess i'm just getting old. used to be able to work everyday and night nonstop and not complain tired but now i do. mayb coz i have to drive too. hahahahaha…

there's this thing about life and people. humans just tend to stereotype no matter what. i guess its human's nature. but i'd like to say, dont stereotype girls who dress up and run in heels. coz i can dress up in a pretty dress, put make up on, wear my four inches high heels and be on the walkie talkie, run about and run the event still. pretty much extremely tiring after that but somehow it still gives me a satisfaction.

weekend is always with the special him, monopoly games, steamboat and cuddling. :)